Pardon my blurry pictures. As usual with the older photos, I've taken pictures of pictures.
Eleven years ago today a 9.9 pound red baby with lots of black hair came into my world. (She had actually been in my world long before then, but not in my arms.) Hannah Kathleen. She looked nothing like my previous babies and had I not witnessed the whole thing, I would have said they'd given me the wrong baby. I wanted to tell everyone in the delivery room, "Hey this is really weird. My other babies were pretty. Really, I mean my others were very pretty. Everyone said so." But no, not Hannah. She looked like a mixture of a cranky Winston Churchill, the fat toothless old lady down the street, and a red poached egg. But I loved her. I loved her lots. "Oh Gordon, she's so ugly," I said proudly. And I was proud.
When we came home from the hospital, my next door neighbor came over and oohed and awed saying stuff like "Look at all that hair," and "She is so sweet." I wanted to tell the neighbor that I knew she was ugly, but I didn't want to sound un-proud, because I was proud. I know a few tricks when it comes to dealing with ugly babies. Among my tricks are, "Look at all that hair," and "She is so sweet." Might as well just come out and say, "Woe is it ever homely."
But I loved her. She loved me too, so I loved her all the more. As she grew she lost the Winston and egg look but kept looking more and more like the toothless old woman down the road. More than a couple times I thanked God that it was a woman down the road she looked like and not a man. When she became expressive with grinning and all, the resemblance to the sweet lady was astounding. My girlfriend Elisa knew the lady down the road. Once the old lady left my house and I confided that I thought Hannah looked like her. Elisa laughed and said the she and Walter thought so too.
Well the pretty fairies visited when Hannah was about 5 months old and she became cute. Actually very very cute. She got a couple teeth and lost the little old lady look.
Unfortunately I was exhausted from having two babies. And it sure didn't help that one of them was Rachael. Exhaustion, hormones, - call it what you wish - wiped me out. Depression came on and my memories of Hannah's babyhood are cloudy and murky. I simply don't remember a whole lot.
When she was just a couple weeks old Gordon told me that there was a surprise baby shower for us two doors down. I sat and wept. I cried hysterically, "I'm too tired to go out." But I pulled myself together and we made it. Those sort of emotions marked those days. Fortunately I have pictures and when I look at the pictures I remember things. She's smiling in the pictures so I think she fared okay through it all.
From the get go in her little life, Hannah had a big sister that was a baby herself. Rachael colored all over Hannah, sat on her, man-handled her like a sack of potatoes. Hannah smiled through most of it.
She learned fairly early how to stand her ground with Rachael. We realized in her young life that she had her own methods of handling her overbearing big sister. Some of those things we still quote. Once as we drove Rachael protested that Hannah was touching her. They were both in car seats and Rachael said, "Hannah's bothering me."
Hannah made a pointy with her index finger and began a little sing-song as she poked Rachael over and over saying, "Bovering, bovering, bovering." We knew then that life was going to balance things out fine. And occasionally we all say, "Bovering, bovering, bovering," as a way of saying
I'm trying to get on your nerves.
Hannah grew and became sensitive. She cared about the feelings of others including animals. She became very articulate, loving to learn new words. Her musings in the backseat often were word games. She played it alone and with no guidance whatsoever. "Re-spect-ful. Re-spect-ful." "Dis-cip-line." She spoke slowly and crisply. We could tell she was saying the words just to enjoy rolling them off her tongue. She played this game for years actually. Once after watching the Tigger Movie, she sat in her carseat quoting Tigger. "Splen-dif-er-rous. Splen-dif-er-rous." We loved to drive along just listening to Hannah practice saying big words.
Twice Hannah did weird little falls that knocked her out cold. The first time I was vacuuming when she fell off the sofa. It scared me silly. I phoned Gordon and he did the typical man thing. He rebuked me for worrying too much. Months and months later I felt rightly vindicated. He had taken the kids to Burger King. Hannah did one of her weird falls and went out cold. He absolutely panicked. Someone phoned 911, a lady came over to help out. She told Gordon that Hannah was breathing and would probably be fine. Gordon sat holding her, crying like a baby, waiting for the ambulance.
By the time I got to the emergency room, she was in a tiny green hospital gown soaking up the attention. She was fine. I've often wished I'd stolen that little gown. She looked so cute.
Hannah has always marched to the beat of her own drummer, more than once taking abuse for doing so. When she was in grade 1 she loved to look for and collect bird feathers. At the park some boys teased, "Ooh, it's the feather girl. She's always got feathers." Hannah was hurt, but undeterred.
Her grade one teacher told me that Hannah was a strong little girl who was willing to be different. And she was a bit different.
Hannah is my easiest child to buy for and treat special. She has so many likes, interests, and passions. Dogs, horses, art, music, piano, stationery, pretty things, porcelain dolls, - she has many interests. It's an endearing quality.
She's thoughtful, considerate, compassionate. She's kind, funny, artistic, and clever. She's typically an absolute doll to be around.
Yesterday she and I went to the Humane Society for a date. I was struck again by how easy she is to please.
This morning she smiled broadly as she was served breakfast in bed.
Tomorrow she is going to Beppe's for two nights. I guess they'll do the usual birthday shopping trip. She's excited. Then on Saturday we'll celebrate. She's chosen horseback riding and a picnic. She's so happy with her plans.
Hannah is delightful. I love her so much and marvel at her many talents. Truly to know her is to love her. I'm thankful for her.
Happy Birthday my sweet Hannah. You are beautiful (but I'd love you no less if you still looked like a poached egg). You bring delight to our lives and to our home. May you grow to be all God created you to be. And may you always point others to Him.
I love you.
This morning, breakfast in bed for an 11 year old.
Labels: birthdays, Hannah, photos