A Young Canadian's Perspective on the US National Anthem

During our visit down south, we heard a group singing the National Anthem on tv. As soon as she heard, "Oh say can you see...." Hannah jerked her head toward me and said, "Are they saying, 'oh Satan you stink?'"

US / Canada Part 3 "Painting with Tampons"

Before moving to Canada, I had very little exposure to other cultures. I had a hard time understanding accents and I'm still weak in this department. As a newcomer, I often found myself in embarrassing conversations where I didn't understand. I will share one such embarrassing conversation.

I met a man who had just moved to Edmonton from French speaking Quebec. He was a painter, so I called him for an estimate. He came and we discussed ideas. He became very animated and started shooting off various ideas quicker than I could process. He clearly wasn't just a painter, he was an artist. He wanted my walls to be a piece of art.

He suggested using a tampon. I didn't fall off a turnip truck yesterday, so I knew I must be misunderstanding his thick accent. He must have seen on my face my struggle to understand. He asked me to get him a tampon so he could demonstrate the tampon technique. (I was too confused to retort, "thank you, but I know the tampon technique.")

Out of my comfort zone, I always resort to appearing like I have it all under control. I sprinted upstairs to the bathroom telling myself, "this is no big deal, act like an adult. He just wants to show you a painting technique." I returned with a tampon in hand and tried to appear comfortable with the idea.

I stretched out my arm to hand him the tampon. Slowly and reluctantly he took it. He looked at it. He shifted his weight. He bit his lip. He shifted his weight again. Finally he spoke. "I think the word in English is sponge."

That is the day I learned that "tampon" is the French word for sponge.

US and Canadian Differences continued

I will continue my US and Canadian observations. My mom pointed out the language differences. There are many of those, way too many for me to address. But I will tell a few of my favorites.

When I was brand new to Canada we went to a home of friends that Gordon loved dearly. I really wanted to make a good impression. As the lady was working on the meal, I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She asked me to set the "serviettes." I had never heard the word serviette before. Nervously, not wanting to look like a country bumpkin, I turned and quickly studied the table. The only thing I noticed absent was the napkins. Hoping desparately that I was right I added the napkins to the table. That day I learned what serviettes are. They are napkins.

Later, that same visit, I was told to make myself comfortable on the chesterfield. Somewhere I had heard that before and I knew it meant sofa. Many older Canadians say chesterfield for their sofa.

When I was growing up we called the knitted caps you wear in the winter tobaggans. This is hilarious to Canadians. Here, a tobaggan is a sled. The knitted cap is called a tuque.

What is the last letter of the alphabet? If you answered zee, you would be wrong in Canada (and every other English speaking country other than the US). That last letter of the alphabet is "zed." Strange, eh?

A rain gutter is an eavestrough.

Our one dollar coin is a loonie. Our $2 coin is a toonie.

What do you call the lace up shoes you wear for sports? I grew up calling them tenny shoes and a proper person would have said "tennis shoes." Here they are neither. They are "runners."

Coffee creamer is called "whitener."

Your butt is your bum. Although everyone knows what butt is, people generally say bum.

Everyone calls urine "pee." I was repulsed by that when I moved here. That was a crass word in my family of origin. I remember getting in trouble for saying pee once. Guess what, I say pee all the time now. I said I never would, but I do. Doctors, nurses, lab workers, you name it, they say pee. "Are you peeing regularly?" "Here, pee in this cup?" "When did you last pee?" Pee pee pee. I can say it without cringing.

Oh yeah, you pee in a washroom, not a bathroom.

Macaroni and Cheese is called Kraft Dinner or KD. I've never adopted that one. The Macaroni and Cheese I make is homemade and I'm not about to call it KD.

In the morning, you open a tin of coffee, not a can of coffee. A tin of tuna, a tin of cookies,...

When Rachael was a baby, I started hearing, "does she make strange?" I didn't have a clue what that meant but finally figured out it meant, "does she get frightened easily by stange people or things?" Last week I actually heard myself ask a lady if her baby "makes strange." For the record, none of my babies made strange.

A baby takes a soother, not a pacifier. I used the word "binky" for pacifier when I moved here. I don't anymore. I say soother because that is what people understand.

Baby cheque. This is an expression every adult Canadian knows. On the 20th of every month, mothers get a "child tax credit." That's right, the government gives me money every month for having kids. It's a sliding scale based on income. It can be a lot of money for a lot of people. Mine is around $200 a month. After Rachael was born I got my first cheque and was amazed to learn it was going to come every month till she was 18. I happily said, "Wow, I love this country."

Double double is another phrase every adult Canadian knows. It means, "I'll take my coffee with double sugar and double cream."

As most people know, all Canadians get equal health care. It is not free as most Americans think. You have to pay for insurance, but if you cannot afford the insurance, the government pays the insurance for you. I wish I could tell you how much the insurance is just to give some perspective, but since Gordon's employer pays ours, I don't know. It too is based on a sliding scale depending on income. The higher income bracket of course pays more for the insurance. Good employers pay the insurance for their employees. Americans tend to view this approach as socialistic and wrong.I do not. I wish America would implement it. I think anything less is criminal. The poor need health care too.

I heard Rush Limbaugh say that Canadians couldn't get good health care. I was highly offended by his stupidity, but then I find him offensive in general. I've had 4 surgeries, 3 babies, and a few other health issues since I've been here, and have always been amazed at the care I got. A homeless person would have received the same care. I am proud of that.

Well, that concludes part 2 of my essay. We shall see if more things come to the fore.

Subtle (and not so subtle) Differences in My Two Countries

I have spent more of my adult life in Canada than the United States. That boggles my mind. I have reached a place of confusing the two sometimes. I see a person who is vaguely familiar and I wonder, "do they remind me of someone from here or there?" Other times I pronounce things the wrong way, thinking I'm pronoucing it the right way for where I am. And I've lost touch with many of my roots. My hometown has progressed and sometimes when I'm there I wonder if my perception when I was there was skewed or has it really changed that much.

Canada is very multicultural. It is one of the things I love about life here. I have friends and acquaintances from across the globe. The kids' school is very ethnically diverse. Deborah's Grade 1 class is studying 3 specific cultures and skimming the surface of all the cultures represented in her class. Parents were asked to come share about their own cultural background. I don't know who all responded, but I know a Yugoslavakian mom, a Ukranian mom, a Sudanese dad, a Chinese mom, and Gordon - a Dutch dad, and me an American mom will share. This has led me to thinking about the differences in US and Canadian cultures. They may seem the same and indeed they are similar, but there are numerous subtle differences. My struggle in sharing with Grade 1 students is that I can't hone in on subtleties. The obvious things are far less fascinating than the subtle differences. I have ideas on what I will share with the Grade 1 class and it is certainly not anything like the list I'm about to share with you.

The subtle differences are always amusing to me. Since most of my readers are Americans, (actually all 4 of my readers are American :-)), I thought I would share some of my observations. I want to stress that my knowledge of both countries is perhaps skewed. I am writing about my PERCEPTIONS. My perceptions may not be actual reality. Also, it's important to remember that my experience with living in the US is from 13 years ago. Things have changed, but I recall the THEN, not the NOW. Thirdly, it's important to note that although I travelled throughout the United States, I only lived in Arkansas, and it was a small town in Arkansas to boot. So please read the following with that in mind.

So I shall begin recording some of the differences in the two countries:

- Americans are more polarized. They tend to be clearly Democrat or Republican; Baptist, Pentecostal, Charismatic, etc. Two visits ago, I was terribly amused by my sister Stacie and her political knowledge of every movie star, singer or what have you that we talked about. It was so strong that she had an unspoken symbol. When a democrat would be on the screen she would form the letter L with her right hand and raise it to her forehead. She was telling me that said star was a liberal. Bumper stickers are everywhere telling of ones' opinions and my experience is that those opinions are not up for discussion. They are "truth" and there is no reason to discuss them.

- Canadians are more physical. Obesity is a problem everywhere, I am a case in point. However it's not as prevalent here. People bike, rollerblade, run, hike, mountain climb, hunt, ice fish, I could go on and on. Most men I know are on a hockey league and play often. Generally speaking, people are pretty fit here.

- Americans have much more expendable income. The average Canadian, I'm quoting an actual statistic, keeps his or her living room furniture for 10 years. I believe the average American keeps his or her's for 3-7. Canadians are heavily taxed, but there are huge perks for that high taxation. Gordon and I are taxed at 29%. That is not a typo -- 29%.

Until recently, Gordon hadn't been to Arkansas since 1993. He found it amazing how the average person we were around took so many luxuries for granted, unaware that they were luxuries. For example, 2,3,4 car families; turn 16 get a car. This doesn't happen here. Car insurance for a teenager is about 10 times what it is in the states. Gasoline is twice as much.

When we were there in December, we kept saying to each other, "wow, this is so cheap." And it was. Groceries, gasoline, utilities, insurance, property, even gravesites are expensive here. Furthermore, Edmonton is the least expensive place I've lived in Canada. First we were in British Columbia and then we were in Calgary.

My mom and I were driving past a cemetery, and I curiously asked how much a plot cost. She didn't know for certain, but she knew someone who paid $300 for two side by side. She added that in south Polk County, you just had to ask for a site and it was yours. A plot in Edmonton is between $8-10,000. Smart, and considerate, people pre-purchase to keep the family from that burden.

- Canadians put greater emphasis on education. Now my experience with United States is limited to Arkansas, so perhaps it isn't true that Canadians value education more than Americans. Perhaps it's more accurate to say that Canadians appear to me to value education more than the Arkansans that I have had lots of exposure to.

People here often get degrees that are not readily "marketable." I don't really understand that, but I do appreciate the esteeming of education and knowledge.

- Americans have "soldiers." Canadians have "peace-keepers." That says a lot right there. I joke that Canada has 7 submarines and 3 of them are in West Edmonton Mall. That isn't true; I have no clue how many subs Canada has, but I'm confident it can't be many. Canada doesn't send the military anywhere to "fight." They send them to "keep peace."

- Canadians are not religious. Few people here make religious pretenses. If they don't have a religion, they aren't ashamed of it. Americans are very religious. Even pagans have bumper stickers that read "God bless America." Or what about the non-Christian person who says, "I believe God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." It seems Americans readily default to religious talk.

Americans seem to talk their religion much more freely. Truthfully, I find the un-religious approach to life very refreshing. What I mean by that, is I find it more real. There is so much "talk" in America and often the talk and the walk don't line up and I am really turned off by that.

- There are fewer divorces here, or at least it seems that way. I've been here 13 years and I know a lot of people. However, I only know 2 couples who divorced in those 13 years. And those 2 couples, I didn't know well. I meet a lot of divorced people, so I know it happens lots, but it hasn't affected anyone close to me. An uncontested divorce takes a year to get. Maybe that is it. I think a better guess is people can't easily afford divorces. Even a common-law split leaves the more solvent partner paying through the nose. Once a couple lives together more than a year, they're entitled to 1/2 the other's assets. Even with that scary prospect, common-law relationships are VERY common here. And in keeping with the un-religious way of doing things, people aren't ashamed or self-conscious to say "my common-law wife" or "my partner." It's right out on the table. When Gordon pastored, there were 4 couples in our church who were common-law. I found that really weird. They had children and everything, but they didn't marry.

- In the years I've lived here, I've seen a definate shift. However when I first moved here, I was shocked at the lack of materialism. Our first church was difinately a professional church. We were in the homes of 4 doctors, a lawyer, dentist, banker, and an investor. I can honestly say I was shocked every time. Althought their houses were very nice, their possissions were not. The living room furniture in every house was older and worn. But I must add that I think we've grown much more materialistic in the 13 years I've been here.

Well this "essay" has gotten very long, and I'm not all that close to finishing my thoughts. Maybe there will be a part 2, but I want to know you're interested. I don't want to bore you and make you quit coming to check out my meanderings.

Before I go I want to add something purely unique to Alberta, our province. Alberta is a wealthy province. It seems the Alberta government has more money than it knows what to do with. So out of that surplus, every man, woman and child in Alberta will be receiving a cheque for $400 at the end of January. This little bonus has the rest of the country screaming down our necks, but Albertans are happy. Don't you think this is cool?

My apologies for droning on and on here. I hope it was interesting to you all.