When Kent and I lived on Hastey Street, we got a man to redo our master bathroom. He was a "professional," yet he was "out of work." He made a royal mess out of it and charged us 2 1/2 times his estimate. To complicate things, the man was a member of our church and a preacher-on-the-side. All the signs were there, but we didn't see them. We thought we would all be winners in this arrangement.
Let's call the professional Ralph. He was about 5 feet tall, at best 5.2.
Ralph worked on our bathroom for days. We looked at it daily, looking forward to it coming together and being a bathroom we could be proud of. We got less and less optimistic as the days went by. I was ready to throw the man a bone and be done with him when I saw he had textured the walls by putting sand in the paint. It was shaping up hardly better than it had been before he started.
The day came when he was "finished." We paid him more than double his estimate, but were very unhappy with his work. Trying to be "christian" about the whole thing, we didn't even mention our dissatisfaction. Kent and I were both striving to have a good attitude. We didn't talk about Ralph, but Oh, how we wanted to!
The bathroom was an expensive mess. The shower was the most disappointing thing. The shower door was directly in front of the nozzle. We had 2 options when showering; we could 1) get in, shut the door, hold our breath and try to be absorbed by the wall till the ice cold water warmed up, or we could 2) open the shower door, turn on the water, then slam the door really quickly. Then, when the water warmed up, open the shower door-- spraying the floor yet again-- and jump in aerobic style as quickly as possible to minimize the pool of water on the bathroom floor. They were poor options, but we chose to spray the bathroom floor with every shower.
Lest you think that was the only problem with the shower, let me assure you it was not. As I mentioned, Ralph was around 5 feet tall. And, the height of the shower nozzle was perfectly suited for someone 5 feet tall. Kent and I were forced to do back bends or knee squats to wash our hair. We were seriously unimpressed, but we tried very hard to be "christian," striving to rise above every urge to complain.
One day Kent came out of the bathroom wearing a disgusted look. "You know, every time I take a shower I wish I had Ralph, like this," he said bitterly as he clamped his hand as if squeezing a set of balls.
Our ban on talking about Ralph was suddenly lifted. I roared with laughter. It felt good to be set free to complain, unrestrained.
Labels: arkansas, Kent, renos